Missing her

I am missing my mom today. 

I have yet to share the story of her passing on here. I might, but not right now. It has been nearly 6 months now. I know I have set aside dealing with my feelings over this to deal with my feelings about other things more pressing. Yes, I say more pressing, because no matter how much I miss her, it won’t bring her back. And in all honesty, I wouldn’t actually want her back. She lived a life full of pain, physical and otherwise, and I know she truly is at peace with her Creator and Savior. Why would I want to deny her that?

So I set aside my pain, bit by bit, and take everything one day at a time. Life does indeed go on. I did allow myself time for mourning, and did most of my grieving bedside, so it is probably a bit easier for me. I am beginning to think of her in other ways, besides her last days at the hospital. And this gives me comfort. She was the strongest, most beautiful, and selfless person I will ever know. 

I love you, Mom. 

xoxo